Three Reasons to Lower (or Raise) Child Support‏

It goes without saying that, regardless of family circumstance, parents must financially support children, since a child usually cannot work and earn income.  The job of children, with the support and nurturance of their parents, is to do well in school and grow into well-rounded and responsible adults.

Under Maryland law, both parents have an equal responsibility to financially support their children.  When the parents are not living under the same roof, the child is entitled to receive court-ordered child support pursuant to the Maryland Child Support Guidelines.  Since, again, the child is a minor, in the applicable circumstance one or the other, or both parents must petition the court for an order establishing child support.

Note:  We usually recommend that parents establish legal and physical child custody by court order first, and have the support naturally flow from the custodial arrangement (see details below).

Some parents are able to work out private arrangements for custody and child support on their own without court intervention, and are able to manage those particulars well.  While in other cases, it is preferable to seek a court order that will govern the necessary arrangements until the child becomes an adult as defined by Maryland law. 

It is always better to have a court order establishing arrangements for the child’s custody and care, because circumstances may change.  If there is no court order in place, the court cannot and will not enforce any private arrangements or missed payments.  You will have to start from square one.

Child support is calculated from the date that a filing seeking support is made in court.  Thereafter, the case will proceed according to the Maryland Code and Rules of civil procedure that govern the family court.  Most laypersons are unfamiliar with litigation and would benefit from experienced and affordable counsel and representation.  (Next Time:  Three Ways to Keep Your Attorneys Fees Low.)  (Also coming soon:  Three Ways to Tell If You Can Trust Your Family Lawyer.)

Often, there comes a time when one party or the other, or both seeks a change in child support.  Parents may have their own reasons for seeking a change.  However, the court will only order a change when the best interests of the child dictates that a change is necessary, meaning that the party receiving the upward or downward change, must establish a legally sufficient “material” and “substantial” “change of circumstance” providing jurisdiction for the court to change the previously ordered amount. 

You may believe you have ample grounds for a change, but in reality making the legal showing required to secure a change may be difficult.  Here are three reasons to lower or raise child support:

1. Your Child Emancipates or is Disabled.  When a child turns 18 and also completes high school, upon proper application to the court, child support may cease.  If there are arrears owed, the court may order that the payments continue until the arrears are paid in full.  The support payment will not automatically stop when the child turns 18.  You must return to court to secure an order extinguishing the support obligation.  Likewise, if the child is disabled, the child may be entitled to support beyond the age of majority and the court will make those determinations case by case.  Seek the counsel of a DEDICATED LAWYER to assist you in maximizing age or health-related changes in child support.

2. The Parents’ Income Changes Downward or Upward.  A mistake many parents make is to unilaterally stop making support payments if their employment changes.  Do not do this.  Instead, you must file a petition for modification of the support amount and receive relief from the court before you stop paying.  Likewise, if either parent’s income increases, there may be a basis to increase child support.  There may be challenges in documenting the change, especially if it is due to self-employment or you are not sure of the other parent's work arrangements.  Securing the services of an EXPERIENCED AND AFFORDABLE ATTORNEY to assist in documenting the changes and effectively arguing the case to the bench, may be an investment that is worth it for your child.

3. The Custodial Arrangement Changes.  One of the reasons we are always trumpeting custody is that custody has a direct impact on the child support.  The nature of the custodial arrangement is what dictates whether the support will be ordered on the basis of sole custody or shared custody.  There are many cases where sole custody is indicated and child support should proceed accordingly.  However, there are many other cases today where the parents can and should share custody in the best interests of their children, and doing so may dramatically impact child support.  Hopefully the parties can agree on their arrangements.  Either way, the services of a KNOWLEDGEABLE AND TENACIOUS LAWYER may be invaluable to securing the custody and child support that your child deserves.

Wishing you peaceful journeys.  CALL US for experienced and insightful help today! 

Three Misconceptions About Child Custody and Child Support Litigation‏

When parents are splitting and will no longer live in the same household, there has to be an arrangement in place, preferably on paper, that will facilitate where the minor children will live, how they will be cared for and by whom primarily, and how key decisions affecting the children will be made and by whom. 

Hopefully parting parents can be cordial, make plans for their children, and agree between themselves on how to maintain their children's stability--i.e., the "status quo" in living arrangements and standard of living created pre-break up.  If the parents cannot agree and no resolution is reached, then a judge may decide. 

Last week, I described three signs that the parties will not be able to agree on child custody:  1) the mere fact that the couple is splitting; 2) prior domestic violence between the partners; and 3) financial drama in the relationship.  

If your custody matters end up in court, it may be a long road to finally secure the arrangements that you desire and believe are in the best interests of your family.

Along the way, a parent may develop serious misconceptions about the process.  These thoughts, beliefs and feelings may be evident, or they may be hidden.  They can prevent effective plans from forming, or can torpedo the most carefully laid plans negatively impacting the end result in court.

I've discussed the need to form a cohesive team, have a realistic plan for success, and execute well on that plan.  It is important to detect and bring harbored misconceptions out into the open, then dispel them through knowledge, education and more planning:)

Here are three common misconceptions that can impact a custody challenge:

Misconception #1:  I Can't Lose!

Overconfidence is a killer.  I've already described in past posts how family court norms have changed.  Your partner enters the battle with an equal chance of winning full child custody.  It is your job to establish why this would not in the child's best interest.  If there is no settlement, you will have to prove your case to the bench.  This may not be a clear-cut task.  Custody is a complicated area.  Many, many factors can influence your success.  Even if you have been the indisputed "primary parent" during the relationship, gaining primary custody in court may still not be a slam dunk.  The parental "rights" movement is strong and there are many tactics that can be employed.  Don't be overconfident. Hire a LAWYER YOU TRUST to help you develop a viable plan.  Then faithfully execute on the plan to the end.

Misconception #2:  I Can't Win!

Lack of confidence is also deadly.  The strategy of a DEDICATED CUSTODY LAWYER will change depending upon which parent is represented.  In the case of a parent who has perhaps not spent as much time with their child as the other parent, and may believe it will not be proper or possible to obtain significant parenting time post-split, know that this may well not be the case.  It is crucial for children that both parents continue to have a substantial and active role in their lives.  Any parent who is prepared to give up custody and simply pay child support (Next Time:  Three Ways to Lower or Increase Child Support), while spending little or no time parenting, owes it to their child and themselves to consult an EXPERIENCED ATTORNEY.  Conversely, any parent who is unable to secure a fair child support payment in the best interest of their child, must seek AGGRESSIVE counsel and representation.  These cases are not easy.  They are difficult.  But for your child's sake, you must invest the effort.

Misconception #3:  I Can Do this Myself!

Tragically, many people in legal trouble will not call a lawyer and seek the help they need, only because they fear the cost.  (Next Time:  Three Ways to Keep Your Family Law Lawyer Fees Low)  Again, custody is a complicated area and many, many factors can influence your success.  The correct moves to make and most effective strategy to employ may be unclear.  These cases are deceptively simple and you may believe you can handle the case on your own.  If you can, God bless you.  But why take the chance?  Instead, CHOOSE AN AFFORDABLE, TRUSTWORTHY LAWYER (Next Time:  Three Ways to Tell If You Can Trust Your Family Lawyer), commit to the process, and follow your lawyer's advice.  Don't be the one wondering "what happened?" when the smoke clears.  Don't be the one to unjustifiably lose custody rights, or be hit with an unmanageable child support payment.  You do not want to have to explain to your children "what went wrong."  Many lawyers today have easy terms and payment plans.  Do not be afraid.  CALL US for experienced and insightful help today:) 

Wishing you peaceful journeys. CALL US for experienced and insightful help today! 

Three Ways to Tell if Your Mate Will Contest Custody‏

When a relationship is ending, it is a time of great upheaval, even if you have known for some time that this day would come.

Recognize that while this is a liberating time and an opportunity for improvement, it is also a transitional time, and a dangerous time, when early planning, and then execution on fruitful plans, is essential.  It is said that a split is like a violent death.  It may not go gently.  For your goals to be achieved, before taking action, you must assess and form a realistic plan.

As you do this, several assumptions will serve as protection:  The partners are not currently friends.  The partners have different and competing beliefs and needs presently. The partners seek different results from the split.  The competing and potentially derailing agendas of third parties will enter.  (Next Time:  Three Ways to Tell if You Can Trust Your Custody Lawyer.)  The process could spiral out of control.  Your ex cannot be relied on nor trusted to cooperate, or help you achieve your goals.  It's every man for himself!  Think, prepare and plan.  You must have a plan. 

Now.  If parenting is important to you, as it should be, a key assessment to make before parting, is whether your mate will challenge you for child custody.  Do not depend on assumptions.  Don't indulge in wishful thinking.  Famous last words are "S/he wouldn't do that!"  "S/he doesn't want custody!"  "I can't win!"  (Next Time:  Three Misconceptions About Custody Battles.) 

Did you know that parents go into a custody challenge basically on equal footing?  With "equal rights" there are now NO presumptions in favor of either parent.  If there is a custody battle, you will have to fight it out!  The results you seek, or assume will happen, are not assured.  Don't take anything for granted. 

Here are three ways to tell if your parting mate will contest custody:

1. Always assume a parting mate will challenge custody.  Make a plan early and find a TRUSTED LAWYER to help you execute on the plan.  As my 100 year old grandfather used to preach, "it's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it."  Pre-plan.  Prepare.  Get good help.

2. Domestic violence is a proven precursor to custody challenges.  Mothers and fathers, men and women:  has there been domestic violence in your relationship?  Did you know domestic violence is not just hitting?  It can take several forms, such as psychological, emotional, or sexual abuse.  All forms of abuse=domestic violence.  (For more information, see http://www.domesticviolence.org/what-is-abuse.)  Do not become involved with, try to change, stay involved with, or procreate with violent (any form - see above) partners.

If you have already, let's move forward, and contain the damage now.  This is one of the main predictors of a custody challenge.  For, often when you split and the violent mate loses control of you, they will take their quest to the court system and the innocent children.  Do not underestimate this threat; it is real.  The violence is quite often completely ignored by the courts, and the violent partner will have rights to the children.  (Next Time:  Three Things to Do Now If You Are Involved in a Custody Battle.)  Seek the counsel of an EXPERIENCED LAWYER in this complex scenario.  NOW.

3. If finances are key and your ex is savvy, expect a custody challenge.  Was money a huge issue in your relationship, or a key reason for the split?  Is your ex savvy about finances?  Do they have the resources to hire counsel for damage control?  If so, expect a custody challenge.  Often custody battles occur simply as a means of containing the financial fallout from a split.  If your ex has reason to limit or avoid paying child support altogether, LAWYER UP EARLY AND GET READY for the pending challenge!!

Wishing you peaceful journeys.  CALL US for experienced and insightful help today! 

Three Overlooked Ways to Resolve Your Custody Battle‏

Most people who end a relationship are able to do so with at least a modicum of civility, and cordiality.  Whether by divorce, an indefinite separation, or simply parting ways, with “never the twain to meet” again, they are able to split with dignity.

When a relationship is ending, it becomes all about dividing the stuff.  The house.  The cars.  The furniture.  The knives, forks and spoons. 

And the kids.

Most couples are focused on making sure that their split does not unduly impact their children.  They feel guilty enough that they are forever altering their children’s world by no longer being together, and do not want to do anything that will make things even worse for the kids.

But there is another group of parting parents:  the ones who will fight over legal and physical custody of the children.  (Next time: Three Ways to Tell if Your Parting Spouse or Mate Will Contest Custody)

When a relationship ends, there is nothing more fearsome than the prospect of a custody battle.  Especially these days.  The old contracts between men and women have changed.  Mothers no longer automatically get primary physical custody.  On the other hand, men must be assertive in the courts to ensure that they will continue to actively parent.

If you and your co-parent do not agree about the best resolution of custody after your divorce or parting, the urge may be to fight, fight, FIGHT!

But may I remind you?  The old contracts between men and women have changed.  And this is being recognized in the courts.

And so, know that it is possible that realizing your dream of custody may prove to be an uphill battle.  My suggestion is three overlooked ways to resolve your custody battle—before it goes to court:

1. Recognize that your choice to end your relationship means everything will change, at least to some degree.  Including the way your children are raised and the extent and nature of your relationship with them.  YOUR TRUSTED LAWYER (Next Time: Three Ways to Tell if You Can Trust Your Custody Lawyer) can help you make sense of goals that are attainable and help you develop a plan.

2. Before you leave the relationship, seek to establish a WRITTEN agreement on custody.  YOUR EXPERIENCED LAWYER will help you craft this agreement to protect your family and lifestyle.

3. If you cannot do so, prepare for a custody battle, with YOUR DEDICATED LAWYER, before you end the relationship.

Wishing you peaceful journeys.  CALL US for experienced and insightful help today!