Most people who end a relationship are able to do so with at least a modicum of civility, and cordiality. Whether by divorce, an indefinite separation, or simply parting ways, with “never the twain to meet” again, they are able to split with dignity.
When a relationship is ending, it becomes all about dividing the stuff. The house. The cars. The furniture. The knives, forks and spoons.
Most couples are focused on making sure that their split does not unduly impact their children. They feel guilty enough that they are forever altering their children’s world by no longer being together, and do not want to do anything that will make things even worse for the kids.
But there is another group of parting parents: the ones who will fight over legal and physical custody of the children. (Next time: Three Ways to Tell if Your Parting Spouse or Mate Will Contest Custody)
When a relationship ends, there is nothing more fearsome than the prospect of a custody battle. Especially these days. The old contracts between men and women have changed. Mothers no longer automatically get primary physical custody. On the other hand, men must be assertive in the courts to ensure that they will continue to actively parent.
If you and your co-parent do not agree about the best resolution of custody after your divorce or parting, the urge may be to fight, fight, FIGHT!
But may I remind you? The old contracts between men and women have changed. And this is being recognized in the courts.
And so, know that it is possible that realizing your dream of custody may prove to be an uphill battle. My suggestion is three overlooked ways to resolve your custody battle—before it goes to court:
1. Recognize that your choice to end your relationship means everything will change, at least to some degree. Including the way your children are raised and the extent and nature of your relationship with them. YOUR TRUSTED LAWYER (Next Time: Three Ways to Tell if You Can Trust Your Custody Lawyer) can help you make sense of goals that are attainable and help you develop a plan.
2. Before you leave the relationship, seek to establish a WRITTEN agreement on custody. YOUR EXPERIENCED LAWYER will help you craft this agreement to protect your family and lifestyle.
3. If you cannot do so, prepare for a custody battle, with YOUR DEDICATED LAWYER, before you end the relationship.
Wishing you peaceful journeys. CALL US for experienced and insightful help today!
